The Drinking Man’s Diet

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a girl who quits!
Who can’t stand all that dieting,
and all its lame bullsh*t!

Sorry. I don’t know what got into me….

So: Yay diets!

Don’t we love the holidays? All those delicious foods tempting you to indulge. All those specialty high caloric drinks just for the season. All those…..POUNDS GAINED.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

I actually don’t usually have a real problem, but this year was especially hard on me. Normally, I’d be running, and eating, and walking and eating, and dancing and eating (you get the drift), but after I finished school….. Who knew?

This summer was atrociously hot – which meant running was just not happening. Believe me, I tried. I failed. My problem is that I overheat way too easily. Dizziness, irritability, and blurred vision are my constant companion when the weather hits above like, 70, not to mention the humidity. Any one who lives in Boston knows this was a tough one.

So the running didn’t happen.

And since I wasn’t going to school anymore, there wasn’t any walking to and from classes or last minute treks across campus to keep me active. Plus, my dog wasn’t doing so great, so I wasn’t getting any help there either.

Scratch the walking.

And dancing you ask? I’m so too old for clubs. Officially. Not. Interested. I like my party of one, maybe two or three. Plus, who has time for that stuff anymore? I was actually just discussing this with a good friend of mine who’s in the same boat and we came up with the magic number: 5. Because if you can’t fit in one car, the group’s too big to manage.

I like that. But I digress.

Needless to say, I’ve packed on the pounds a little too much for my liking. Add to that the holiday parties and family food buffets? Forgedaboudit.

Enter: Mama Penguin. (My mom, get it? Cause I’m wearing a penguin onesie in my picture? nvm.)

I can’t remember the specifics, but we were talking dieting (as usual, she has her own issues) and she brought up either an article or a memory…I dunno. Point is, she told me about The Drinking Man’s Diet.

Whaaaaaaaaaat?

That’s right, you read that correctly. A diet. For people. Who still want to drink.

This Diet’s on Fiiiiire!!!

flaming_cocktails

I am so sorry.

I know. I’m sorry. I’m in a silly mood.

Sorry.

*Ahem*

Apparently, the idea originally stems from an issue with: prolonged lack of movement in plane cockpits + casual eating of snacks drinking off duty, leading to (=) overweight US Air Force pilots. Personally, I find that fact hilaaarious.

I was intrigued. I googled. I found this article by Laura Smith for Timeline Magazine.

The literature introducing the diet to the world was published in the 1960s, and quickly became a favorite amongst many a celeb and civvies including the one and only Dean Martin. *bow chicka bow wow*

deanmartin
Image shamelessly borrowed from above-mentioned Timeline article.

Oh and ladies, don’t listen to this idiot spouting misogynistic, homophobic bs about heteronormative blah blah blah. The guy who wrote the book?He learned about it from a woman. It is a diet for everyone.

The Drinking Man’s Diet (or “DMD” because that’s a lot to repeatedly type) is most commonly compared to the Atkins Diet, with one slight change – you have to eat carbs. 60 grams of them a day.

Well, I mean, *coughcough*, and you can drink. *coughcough*
Liquor and wine have scant carbs, so they’re still fair game – it’s the mixers you have to worry about.

Let’s be honest, fellow glutards. We all know that GF “carb” alternatives suck. I’m still waiting for a solid sourdough, and forget about ever having a satisfying Gyro or Burrito ever again. So the idea of limiting my carbs to 60 grams? No Problem. Heck I was already thinking about going Paleo (it will NEVER Happen. VIVA LA CHEESE FOREVER).

I ordered the book.
– Totally off topic, but Thriftbooks is awesome, you all have to get familiar with this epic site. –

drinkingmanthriftbooks

 

I also, for kicks, ordered the cook book. Cause ohmygwhynot – I love reading all of the horribly bizarre and weird food habits made popular in the 1950s and 60s. I was not disappointed (frosted ham cake? Really?!).

drinking man's diet cookbook

And this cookbook is surprisingly GF Friendly. I mean primarily the only thing you have to ignore is the pieces of toast in some of the appetizers. A few recipes have flour in the sauce, but really not that many – and those that do are minimal amounts and easily replaced with GF alternative flour.

I must admit that even with all of the “success stories” and recommendations within the book, I am still somewhat skeptical. The diet focuses on carbohydrates, completely ignoring calories which, as anyone living in today’s current diet obsession knows, is the mass adversary of any person interested in maintaining a healthy weight/diet. And 60 grams of carbohydrates? That doesn’t sound like a lot, but if you already aren’t eating sweets, and aren’t eating breads, then this number adds up to a lot of food/calories, so honestly, I’m a little iffy on how I feel about the whole approach.

What I do like about the books especially is that they have cartoons (I know, I’m such a child). And, they allow drinking.

And, the introduction is actually quite insightful. It doesn’t promise you a quick-cure to your eating woes. It warns you right out not to eat or drink to excess. And it includes both a carbohydrate and a cholesterol food chart because the most important thing is your health.
And obviously it says talk to your doctor first.

So here’s my thought. I’ve always stuck to the rule that whatever you want to weigh, add a zero to the end and that’s your daily max calorie intake. Since I want to be about 130 (which is the mid-range of my height’s healthy weight bubble), I will try to only intake a maximum of 1,300 calories per day. I’m going to maintain to the best of my ability a low caloric diet, as I should be doing anyway, but I’m also going to stick to the 60g.-carbo thing, and see what happens…for as long as I can.

Woof.

I don’t have a lot of faith. I may just do the DMD and/or calorie count on the weekdays.

A little funny sidestep on my personal experience, I found this rather…..I’m going to say interesting article regarding the DMD, written by 21yo female Sara Rose for The Tab. Can I just point out that – what kind of idiot would think that this diet means that you have to drink?!?! TO EXCESS?!?! That’s not the bloody point; the point is that you can drink – operative word: can. As in ALLOWED. So reading her “article” about how this diet was unsuccessful, then looking at the picture of her 20oz. Martini for Lunch (no joke), yea: I can see how this diet isn’t a good idea for all people. You probably should get an IQ test done first.

Back to me.

I am considering yesterday to be my first day.

Starting Weight: I’m not going to tell you that! Rude.

Oh, a little side note – I’ve been on limited movement since Saturday, and probably will be for the next week or so as I smashed a rib. I haven’t gone to the doctor yet, but it does hurt, so I’m taking it pretty easy. Since I haven’t been moving (practically bed-ridden), I’m not in any great need of energy/calories, so my full caloric intake yesterday was about 900, and my carbo intake was similarly low – about 40grams.

Today was similarly low….

(Approx. amounts)
Carb: 35g
Protein: 71g
Fat: 27g
Calories: 900
Pounds Lost: I….forgot to check my weight yesterday. So I guess zero.

And wouldn’t you know it – not enough carbs again. This is going to be bloody well hard.

Please Do not judge: I didn’t get out of bed until 4pm yesterday, and 2pm today. And I basically can’t move without being in some variant degree of pain, so not much motivation to burn off those calories and work up an appetite. Trust me, such low calorie intake is not a norm. Just look at all my posts about the foods that I make and review normally.

Which brings me to part two (1.5?) of this post:

The Prepped Meal.

Dinner a la cookbook!: 12oz. baked cod w/sour cream, 2 mini red potatoes, 1c. cabbage salad w/dressing (p19), and 1c. green beans.

The recipe:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Sorry, that’s the best I can do with sharing legible photos. I fail at this.

Let’s be honest, this cookbook thing is amazing. It has the most intriguing foods in it. Most of which you couldn’t pay me to eat – but still. Tomorrow I’m making “Meatza Pies”, I’m so excited.

As for my first cookbook meal:

…I forgot to take a photo when they still looked all pretty. I really suck at that, don’t I? Chock it up to being born a little to early to be permanently glued to my phone, documenting every coke zero and hot pocket I come across…..

I know – for such a luddite I spend an awful lot of time on the computer.

Anyway.

Consensus from the husband and myself is: not bad. He was a big fan of the fish sauce (really, who doesn’t love sour cream?). I gave some of the cabbage salad – which was really more like a cabbage slaw – to my neighbor and he really liked it, so I’ll put this one down as a win.

The meal itself is slightly altered from the recipe, as I tend to do, but I tried to stay as true to form as possible. The only variants: for the main, 24oz cod instead of 2lb. haddock; for the cabbage, onion powder instead of onion salt (per availability), dried dill instead of dill seed (per availability – who has that anyway?), and I may have accidentally gotten incidentally carried away with the paprika (definitely an unintentional sploosh with the bottle). My husband and I each got two 6oz. fillets, and not all of the sauce was used (like a quarter of it was used).

I’d say the only issue I had with this surprisingly simple-to-make meal was the potatoes. According to the book, you can parboil the potatoes, throw them on the same pan as the fish and presto-chango: it all comes out at once. That would be a no.

This led to somewhat overcooked fish. Granted, I didn’t use the same amount of fish, I suck at cooking fish on a good day, and maybe the fault was really more my crappy oven also kinda sucks, but still I would not recommend this tactic. Watch the fish carefully, check the inside and take it out immediately when done.

The cookbook even says: you can always cook more, but you can’t uncook.

I was pretty nervous about the cabbage actually as the directions didn’t specify red or green cabbage, but seeing as I only had red cabbage available to me that is what I (obviously) went with. I was not disappointed – red cabbage has a very satisfying crunch.

Now, because the recipe only calls for half the head, I have a bunch of cabbage to figure out something to do with sitting in my fridge.

Maybe I’ll make soup tomorrow….

Until next time, my Glutards, eat well.

 

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